The first thing you'll notice is that, much like the national wealth, the offense spreads the field evenly. There are two outside receivers, one slot receiver as well as a tight end lined up in the slot. There's a single back in the formation to the right of the quarterback. The defense counters with a nickel package featuring four down lineman shaded towards the play side. One of the defensive backs plays tight coverage, while the others play off of the line.
As the ball is snapped, the offensive line begins to flow to the play side, leaving the DE unblocked. The QB and RB converge, with the quarterback reading the DE. In this case, the DE has taken a conservative angle to the play, resulting in a hand off to the RB. One of the WRs starts to run his DB off with a hard post pattern. The other two WRs block. The TE, presumably Comrade Butler, is 15 yards off the line because he started down field a full two seconds before the ball was snapped. Fortunately, the new Adidas uniforms feature patented CloakTek fabric that renders those wearing it virtually invisible. Comrade Butler's movements within enemy territory go unnoticed. The play side LB is responsible for contain on the RB, presumably Comrade McGuffie, and defecates on himself because of the anxiety associated with this task.
The play continues and the RB reads his blockers, heading towards a seam along the sideline. One of the enemy DBs has given up and returned to the locker room. This frees the WR to block down on the LB that has soiled his pants. The TE, using the cloaking technology, sneaks up on the SS and begins to devour him. The QB, presumably Comrade Threet, continues to roll out, selling the defense on a keeper, before delivering a ninja throwing star into the throat of the DE in front of him. The LB in the middle of the field has decided that most honorable thing to do is to commit suicide with a 9mm handgun, rather than live with the embarrassment that will surely befall the enemy defense after this play.
The RB continues down the sideline, on his way to a certain touchdown. The TE has finished ingesting the SS. The enemy LB bleeds out from his self inflicted gun shot wound. The enemy DE tries to escape with a throwing star embedded in his throat, leaving a trail of blood the QB follows. Comrade Threet should have severed the carotid artery with the weapon, but his throwing arm proved too weak. The enemy FS has changed teams and is now a Comrade in the Revolution. The remaining enemy DLs try to ward off the offense using a torch. The SR receives oral sex from Scarlett Johansson. One of the remaining CBs is so moved by the sheer beauty of the offense in front of him that he has joined the seminary.So, Comrades, there it is. Please keep in mind that this is a very basic tactic and Comrade Rodriguez will surely utilize even grander schemes as the Revolution takes hold. We all wait with growing anticipation and excitement, as the time when the Revolution reveals itself to the rest of the world grows ever closer.
